Funny Jokes: The funniest jokes, fun quizzes, funny jokies, funny myspace comments and funny jokes on the Internet can be found here at Jokes Unlimited.
john: I am so miser that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
jack: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.
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Husband to a newly wedded wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife: Thanks! but promise me
you will stay there for the rest of your life.
you will stay there for the rest of your life.
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Question: Why do women live longer than men?
Answer: Because shopping never causes heart attacks,
but paying the bills does!
but paying the bills does!
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The teacher asks the Sardar: You have 10 chocolates,
you gave 5 to Anjali, 3 to Manju, and 2 to Smitha. What do you have now?
you gave 5 to Anjali, 3 to Manju, and 2 to Smitha. What do you have now?
Sardar: Three new girlfriends!
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Santa : You asked me to do it without using tables.
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A man was asked to explain in English,
“Dukh hamesha sath rehta he magar khushi
aati jaati rehti hai”
“Dukh hamesha sath rehta he magar khushi
aati jaati rehti hai”
Man: My wife is with me but her sister comes and goes…!
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Boy: I’ll climb the tallest mountain, swim the deepest sea,
walk on coal, just for you.
walk on coal, just for you.
Girl: Can you come to meet me?
Boy: Abi to sardi bohat hai ammi nikalnay nhi den gi.
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Urdu Funny Jokes
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Urdu Funny Jokes
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1 sardar ne malton ki reri lagai.
6 din tak maltay nhi bikay or sukh kar chotay ho gaye.
satwen din sardar malton ko pani lagatay huay bola
Oye! nai vikna tay na viko par hosh te karo.
6 din tak maltay nhi bikay or sukh kar chotay ho gaye.
satwen din sardar malton ko pani lagatay huay bola
Oye! nai vikna tay na viko par hosh te karo.
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Bivi: aaj mere tann-mann me aag laga do.
Shohar ne petrol daal k aag laga di.
Moral: jazbaat ka izhaar aasan alfaz mein kren.
Shukriya Rescue 1122
Shukriya Rescue 1122
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Gabbar: kitnay aadmi thay?
Kaliya: sardar 2..
Kaliya: sardar 2..
Gabbar: Mujhay ginti nhi ati, 2 kitnay hotay hain?
Kaliya: Sardar 2, 1 k bad ata hai.
Kaliya: Sardar 2, 1 k bad ata hai.
Gabbar: or 2 k pehle?
Kaliya: 2 k pehlay 1 ata hai.
Kaliya: 2 k pehlay 1 ata hai.
Gabbar: To beech me kon ata hai?
Kaliya: koi nhi.
Kaliya: koi nhi.
Gabbar: to phir dono 1 sath q nhi atay?
Kaliya: 1 k bad hi 2 aa sakta he, qk 2, 1 se bra hai.
Kaliya: 1 k bad hi 2 aa sakta he, qk 2, 1 se bra hai.
Gabbar: 2, 1 se kitna bra hai?
Kaliya: 2, 1 se 1 bra hai.
Kaliya: 2, 1 se 1 bra hai.
Gabbar: agar 2,1 se 1 bra hai,
to 1,1 se kitna bra hai?
to 1,1 se kitna bra hai?
Kaliya: Kuttay diya putra menu goli maar day.
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Agar ap k paas narra ya alastic na ho
or shalwar dheeli ho tou usay girnay se
bachane k lie shalwar k uper underware pehan len.
or shalwar dheeli ho tou usay girnay se
bachane k lie shalwar k uper underware pehan len.
(Zubaida apa k superman totkay)
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Pathan: yaara ye
“Sent Message”
kya hota hai?
“Sent Message”
kya hota hai?
dusra pathan: Khuda ki kasam tum to bilkul jahil ka bacha hai.
“Sent Message” ka matlab hai khushboo wala message.
“Sent Message” ka matlab hai khushboo wala message.
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Daku pathan k ghar ghus gaya
aur bola jaldi btao sona kahan hai?
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Pathan: pagal ka bacha! itna bra ghar hai, kahin bhi so jao.
aur bola jaldi btao sona kahan hai?
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Pathan: pagal ka bacha! itna bra ghar hai, kahin bhi so jao.
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Maa: beta kya kar rhe ho?
Beta: Parh raha hun maa….
Maa: Excellent! kya parh rha he meri jaan…?
Beta: apni jaan k messages ammi jaan 
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Teacher: 2 me 2 gaye to kia bacha?
Sardar: muje kuch samaj nhi ai.
Sardar: muje kuch samaj nhi ai.
Teacher: Tumharay pass 2 rotian thein
tum ne unko kha lia to tumharay pas kia bacha?
Sardar: Salan
tum ne unko kha lia to tumharay pas kia bacha?
Sardar: Salan
A Child had Never Seen His Hips before.
1 Day His Teacher Hit Him Hard On His Hips.
He Came To Home & Saw In Mirror & Said
Kamini ne 2 tukray hi kar die!
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Father to son: If You don’t pass your Exams this time
Don’t you dare call me DAD,
After some days……..
Father asked:How is your result?
Son:Sorry Mr. Joseph.
Don’t you dare call me DAD,
After some days……..
Father asked:How is your result?
Son:Sorry Mr. Joseph.
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Income Tax Department is keeping an eye on all your high value transactions..
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Please don’t buy “Sugar“.
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Please don’t buy “Sugar“.
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When a man holds a woman’s hand
before marriage, it’s love;
before marriage, it’s love;
after marriage it’s self-defense.
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Message of the year:-
A Woman lives a better, longer & peaceful life..than a man!!
Why?
Very simple…
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
A Woman lives a better, longer & peaceful life..than a man!!
Why?
Very simple…
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
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Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband: A slight Push…!!!
Husband: A slight Push…!!!
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Sardar asked his servant to Go and water the plants.
Servant replied It”s already raining.
Sardar said: So what take an umbrella and go.
Servant replied It”s already raining.
Sardar said: So what take an umbrella and go.
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Dost asked to sardar:Truck Dekh Kr Tum dar Q jatay Ho?
Sardar replied: 1 Truck Driver Meri Biwi Ko Le Kr Bhag Gaya Tha..
Hr Bar Lagta Hai Jesay Usko Wapis Krnay Aya Hai.
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PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get my mummy then?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get my mummy then?
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TEACHER: John, how would you spell “crocodile”?
JOHN: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I would spell it!
JOHN: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I would spell it!
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Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don’t see any other way to get married with your daughter!
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A pig fell in love with a chicken.
Chicken kissed pig’s hand. Next day,
pig died of bird flu & chicken died of swine flu..
AJAB PREM KI GHAZAB KAHANI ..:-P
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Boy and girl of class 2 asked their teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO, Never!! Its impossible.”
Boy said 2 girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”
Joe: Meet my wife Tina.
Jimmy:Oh! I know her.
Joe:How?
Jimmy:we were caught sleeping together.
Joe:What the hell?
Jimmy:during lecture in maths class
Jimmy:Oh! I know her.
Joe:How?
Jimmy:we were caught sleeping together.
Joe:What the hell?
Jimmy:during lecture in maths class
Always think positive.
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Teacher: How Old is your father?
Sunny: My Father is As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born.
Sunny: My Father is As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born.
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If you want your wife listen
and pay strict attention to
every word you are saying,then..
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talk her in your sleep !
and pay strict attention to
every word you are saying,then..
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talk her in your sleep !
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A sardarji Doctor fell in Love with a Nurse.
He wrote a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister….
He wrote a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister….
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3 boys where going on a motor cycle.
policeman gave hand to stop them. A sardar shouted
oye pehle hi teen bhete nayen tu kithay bethen ga…!
policeman gave hand to stop them. A sardar shouted
oye pehle hi teen bhete nayen tu kithay bethen ga…!
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Wife to her husband: Please take me to an expensive place.
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Husband replied: okey get ready
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We are going to Petrol Pump.
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Husband replied: okey get ready
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We are going to Petrol Pump.
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What is the difference b/w POETRY and ESSAY?
Any word uttered by a girlfriend is a POETRY
while
Anything said by a wife is an ESSAY.
Funny SMS
Any word uttered by a girlfriend is a POETRY
while
Anything said by a wife is an ESSAY.
Funny SMS